Survivalist Graduate Degrees

It has finally hit me, the stress that my peers have been talking about in hushed whispers and late night WhatsApps has found me. Not only has it found me, but it has caught me unawares. I was warmly tucked into my comfortable life, slowly trodding through each task as it came to me. I even felt good about my return to work - my classes went smoothly, my students seemed pleased to see me again, and my new students appeared to be new challenges to be unravelled throughout the year. But never forget that Chekhov's gun has been loaded since the first act and we are reaching the climax of opening night.

The first week of our classes this trimester presented an illusion. Much like an MC Escher sketch or the apparition of a wahdi in the middle of the Saudi desert, it was nothing but a trick of the eyes. Each professor presented a mirage of organization. They knew exactly what was going to occur and when it was going to occur - complete control. With that complete control we suddenly feel at ease, there is a driver at the wheel of this machine, you can sit back, relax, and close your eyes a bit while someone else steers. With your eyes closed, you may expect to feel the gentle curvature of the road as the driver takes each turn as it comes. In this case, however, the driver seems a bit out of control, you keep banging your head against the window as they slide too quickly into curves and finally your eyes snap to attention as the driver slams on the brakes. As your eyes snap to attention you notice a serious situation - there is no driver at the wheel. No one has ever been there at all, that sense of security and organization was an illusion after all.

Enough with the metaphors, let us speak plainly. On that first day, many of our professors loaded Chekhov's gun by telling us about our impending exams in December and about their larger group projects that we would "learn about later". As if in a hurry to launch their projects out into the ether before anyone else can - all of the educators (with rare exception) in the master have suddenly and poorly in most cases, revealed their master plans. Very few instructions, directions, or expectations, have been given. Simply do and find out what I think of your creation at a later date. Generally a date beyond when our obligatory relationship will end - so that all personal interaction and responsibility is nullified. I do not doubt the objectivity of some of my professors, but I can't say I feel the same about all of them. This is clearly simply the way the system works and in some cases the professors have little option but to follow the guidelines laid out to them by the University. In other cases the professor seems to actively use this to their advantage, knowing they can prey on the concern, fear, and reliance of their students to feel powerful.

The aforementioned behavior is far too common from what I have seen so far. I am, frankly, not sure who will even read this in the end, but know that I do not mean all of my professors or even all of my classes. However, if I were to summarize my experience thus far it would be as follows: I have learned little, I have enjoyed less, go back to your research for teaching you're far too non-committal.

If you'll excuse me, between work and college I haven't seen my son in three days, I think it's time I go home.